A Recent Epiphany About Our Relationships with "Communities"

Since moving to the relative intimacy of a small mountain town (after a lifetime of dwelling with the sense of anonymity that can accompany life in a larger city), I was deeply moved to get involved in my community to help make it the best it can be.  This translated into all kinds of activities and initiatives ranging from putting on special film nights, Earth Day celebrations, offering courses at the local College campus, organizing Green Drinks, joining the local Chamber of Commerce, volunteering time with local festivals and committees, becoming a regular contributor to our local magazine, and much more.

Doing all of this was an amazing way to hone a deeply felt sense of place, my love for this community and its heritage, establish good friendships, and glean something about the many social networks that permeate and animate this town.

Now, five years later, with the benefit of some hindsight and hopefully a little bit more wisdom, life circumstances have me stepping back and taking a bit of a breather from all this frenetic activity.  If the truth be told, "trying to make things better", depending on the attitude with which one is approaching it, can be an exhausting undertaking that sometimes feels a lot like pushing rope (or herding cats!).

Perhaps the biggest epiphany I've had is that a healthy relationship with one's community operates on essentially the same principles as one's relationship with a partner or lover: you just gotta lov'em for who they are, warts and all - because we all know the perils of trying to "fix" or "change" someone...'cos nine times out of ten that's going to backfire in some way.  And so it is with community, where trying to "fix" or "change" things can so often feel like one step forward, two steps back.

So where does that leave me?  The answer is a much more positive place...which is to stay in touch with why I fell in love with this town in the first place (warts and all) and focus my energy instead on the things I really love doing/being/giving.  I reckon that it's a lot like what Mahatma Ghandhi was getting at when he said "be the change you wish to see":  in being the absolute best I can be, I become part of the solution.